Egads! You’d think that between her book tour and occasional back-and-forths with the “lamestream media,” Sarah Palin wouldn’t have much free time for stupid shit.
Of course, you’d be wrong. According to an earth-rattling press release from the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America (that’s a real thing), the former Wasilla mayor has agreed to keynote the 2010 International Bowl Expo, which, in case you aren’t aware, is the “bowling industry’s premier international convention.”
From the press release:
The Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America (BPAA), the bowling industry’s leading trade association, announced today that the bowling industry rolled a strike, securing Sarah Palin as the keynote speaker at this summer’s International Bowl Expo 2010.
Was that a bowling joke!?! They rolled a strike, everybody!
Also, despite Palin’s history of quitting everything she enters, the association won’t have a SPARE keynote speaker. The press release also noted that after the event, Palin will be returned to the GUTTER whence she came. Also, BOWLING SHOES.
Here’s another actual excerpt from the release:
Sarah Palin is a great friend to the bowling industry and we’re so proud and honored to welcome her as our keynote speaker at International Bowl Expo 2010,” said Steven Johnson, executive director of the BPAA. “Regardless of your political affiliation, Ms. Palin is a force in American politics and culture. Her presence underscores the impact and importance of bowling, one of our country’s leading national pastimes and a growing $10 billion industry.”
Whatever the eff that means.
Have fun at your Bowling Expo, everyone. Hope you didn’t want to invite anyone from the “gotcha media” to cover it.
Oh, and talk about missed opportunities, bowlers. You could’ve had a politician and an amazing bowler all wrapped into one as your keynote speaker, but apparently you’re not into having black people address you. Looks like you’ll never know the trade secrets of a 37-bowler.