Gah! What’s this!?
Apparently noted thinker and famous Mike Huckabee supporter Chuck Norris has a regular column at Townhall.com, your clearinghouse for all things Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin. Looking back through the archives, it seems Norris has written about Obama’s health care reform plan quite a bit. He also wrote a two-part column called “God and Guns,” which we’re sure is tremendous.
Nothing though — and we mean nothing — can top his Tuesday column. In fact, we’re pretty sure he should just call it a career after this one; he’s never gonna top this:
Yes, bravo Chuck Norris! Bravo! You’re asking the questions only an insane person would ask. Congratulations on that.
Of course, this was no rhetorical question from Chuck Norris. Oh no. He has answers!
As we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington’s wise men and women! Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?
Okay, first of all, WTF? Is this a joke? This has to be the worst Christmas column ever. More importantly, though, what’s going on here?
Let’s make sure we have this premise down correctly, shall we. If Barack Obama had been…uh…mayor of Jerusalem (?) in the year ZERO and had offered a Medicare buy-in to Joseph (?), Mary would’ve aborted Jesus? Is that right?
Look, wasn’t Jesus’ whole deal that he was sent here to die for Christians’ sins? Wouldn’t his being aborted have just sped up the process? What’s the big deal, Chuck Norris?
Look, we’re gonna keep reading this column, but we’re not sure we can really take Chuck Norris the political pundit seriously. Maybe we should get our political and policy opinions from someone who hasn’t been kicked in the head 9 million times.