It’s not exactly a surprise that the state that elects John “Walnuts” McCain over and over would be completely batshit insane, but having tackled immigration in a racist and unconstitutional fashion, the Arizona Senate today tackled another extremely pressing issue: human-animal hybrids.
The Arizona state Senate on Thursday passed a bill making it illegal for a person to “intentionally or knowingly creating a human-animal hybrid.”
The bill, which passed 16 to 12, would prohibit anyone in the state from “creating or attempting to create an in vitro human embryo by any means other than fertilization of a human egg by a human sperm.”
The measure would also outlaw “transferring or attempting to transfer a human embryo into a nonhuman womb,” “transferring or attempting to transfer a nonhuman embryo into a human womb” and “transporting or receiving for any purpose a human-animal hybrid.”
You know, we’ve spent a lot of time this week making fun of Arizona and its legislature for being terrible, but we’re gonna have to side with them on this one. We’re not cool with people like Wolverine walking the streets, and we’re not okay with guys like Aquaman swimming in our oceans. Frankly, our problem with this law isn’t with what it does; it’s with what it doesn’t do. What about human-robot hybrids? What about human-zombie hybrids?
Also, is there any kind of language in there about mating humans with extinct animals like dinosaurs? See, we think that might be a loophole that they haven’t thought about and we’d hate to see it exploited. I mean, yeah, a human-wolverine hybrid is scary, but what about a human-T-Rex killing machine? Usually you go too far, Arizona, but on this one we have to wag our collective finger in your direction. Not. Far. Enough.