With all the priest sex abuse and anti-gay pastors running around with male escorts, it’s been a rough few days years for Jesus. Just when you figured things couldn’t get worse for the poor guy, this happened:
That’s right, Lord Jesus Christ was hit by a car in Massachusetts. His crime? Crossing a street in a sidewalk.
NORTHAMPTON – A 20-year-old Pittsfield driver was cited by police Tuesday after she ran down Lord Jesus Christ in a marked crosswalk at Main Street and Strong Avenue, police said.
Brittany E. Cantarella was cited for a crosswalk violation, said Northampton police Capt. Scott Savino.
Christ, 50, of Belchertown, was taken to Cooley Dickinson Hospital for treatment of minor injuries following the 3:30 p.m. accident. He was treated at the hospital and then released.
Cantarella was making a left turn from Strong Avenue onto Main Street when her car, a 2005 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, struck Christ.
Christ was in a marked crosswalk at the time of the accident, Savino said.
Savino said officers checked Christ’s identification at the scene and confirmed it was his legal name.
In lieu of flowers, Christ asks that everyone stop being such fucking hypocrites and stop using his name to justify wars, the death penalty and whatever shit Sarah Palin is for today.