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Archive for the ‘Fancy live blog’ Category

Well hey, we’re not doing anything else, so let’s kick this sucker off. Y’all ready for this!?

State of the Union time, baby! Let’s get it on!

9:07 This is, of course, the most important part of the speech. Who’s on the center aisle? Who transcended party labels and waited literally HOURS to get his picture taken with the President!? Obviously, Sheila Jackson-Lee, that’s who. Christ.

9:08 Just in case you’re watching along at home, we should point out that we’re watching on MSNBC. If you’re watching on FOX News, you’re probably seeing a different feed. There are not actually horns on Obama’s head.

9:09 Obama greets the Joint Chiefs. Totally cool to ask if they’re gay now.

9:10 Wow, Pelosi’s wearing a lot of makeup tonight. And a suit! Weird!

9:12 Oh man, big hand for the new Speaker! And an even bigger hand for Gabby Giffords! Hooray for everyone! (more…)

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10:26 – Governor of Virginia Bob McDonnell announced, people clapping. Oh, he’s dreamy.

10:29 – Well, this is unnecessary spectacle, honestly.

10:30 – Cheering. So loud that it bled through Wolf Blitzer’s ominous drone.

10:30 – What’s with all the reverb on Bob McDonnell’s voice?

10:31 – So McDonnell’s kids are typical dumb kids who are more interested in sports than in the future of the country? Alright.

10:31 – So far not really much of a response as it is a reiteration.

10:32 – Quoting Jefferson. Hmm…I dunno if you want to do that, since you always get the church and state thing wrong.

10:33 – Re: debt: “This is simply unsustainable.” Not in the ol’ U.S. of A., where American spend 103% of their earnings!

10:33 – “We want results, not rhetoric.” Doesn’t want partisanship. Yeah, my ass.

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Holy moly, everybody! We already got the iPad today, and now we get a super awesome speech from still-President (somehow!) Barack Obama! Apparently Scott Brown’s election in Massachusetts means nothing to this guy because look at him! He’s about to give the State of the Union Address!

The sad thing is that it might not be as fun as Obama’s first address to Congress — the one where Rep. Joe Wilson went off the rails and just started shouting obscenities — because Republican leaders actually sat their caucus down and reminded them that, per hundreds of years of precedent, they’re not supposed to act like children during a speech by the president.

Yes, we’re disappointed, too. But guess what. Still gonna live blog the shit outta this thing! It starts whenever “Chuck” “American Idol” ends.

9:00 We’re gonna watch this thing on NBC because… boy is Brian Williams dreamy.

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palin-oprahOprah’s on at 4 p.m. EST, and you betcha we’ll be live blogging that crap.

4:00 Oh holy crap, ya’ll. Ominous music! We’ll be talking Bristol, Levi, Katie Couric, and everything else. Oprah’s been waiting! “She’s finally here!”

4:01 Loving embrace! This is gonna get ugly real fast.

4:02 It’s time to talk about the Palin snub! Oh let’s break it down, everyone.  Oprah reminds us that she supported Barry, and that’s why she chose to have no candidates on. Sarah smiles, images of ponies and unicorns dancing through her head.

4:04 Tell us about your first meeting with Johnny Mac, SP. Palin says she didn’t consider herself a real viable candidate for VP. Shocking! She also says she never doubted that she’d be a good VP. After all, she had “executive experience.” Wtvr.

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