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Archive for the ‘Sarah Palin said something else stupid’ Category

Last we checked in with Sarah Palin, she was calling Joe Biden “Joe O’Biden.” Well now she thinks that just because John McCain is crazy old and has soft white hair, he must be God…

Washington Post

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Get your yard signs ready, everyone! Who’s excited about a possible Palin/Taitz presidential ticket in 2012!?

As if it weren’t enough that Sarah Palin is functionally-retarded, addicted to facebook and twitter, completely illiterate on the issues of the day, a firm believer that there’s such a thing as “death panels” and a prolific quitter, she further beefed up her GOP bona fides on Thursday by checking off another important box: birther.

Palin appeared on a conservative radio show hosted by Rusty Humphries — sounds pornographic — where she was asked whether questions about Barack Obama’s birth certificate would be valid in a possible 2012 matchup.

From Politico…of course:

I think the public rightfully is still making [the birth certificate] an issue,” [Palin said]. “I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t know if I would have to bother to make it an issue, because I think that members of the electorate still want answers,” she replied.

Gah! Of course the public still wants answers! The public is retarded! Know what other things they want answers to? How many chicks has Tiger Woods been boning? Why’s there a Mick on TV instead of Jay Leno? And when the hell does Kid Rock’s new album come out?

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Oh joyous day! Know what we’ve all been missing for a while? The magical tweets of one Sarah Palin.

Well she’s back. Oh baby is she back! Lots of journalists have been making hay out of her book tour and the fact that although she seems to be traveling the country by bus, Palin’s actually been hopping from event to event by chartered jet.

She’s had enough of the jibber-jabber, though, and she rage-twatted about it on Tuesday:

Oh snap! Take that, lamestream media!

And just like that, any and all doubt about whether Sarah Palin is actually the one tweeting this nonsense is erased.

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This might actually be the part of the Story of Sarah Palin where her fans actually use the defense: “Hey, it’s not like she actually wrote ‘Going Rogue’ herself.”

Needless to say, we already knew Palin’s tome was filled with stupid shit, but until we happened upon an incredible item in the Huffington Post, we didn’t realize the magnitude of her retardation (to be fair, that can’t be true; we already knew). It seems in her haste to get her graphic novel onto Costco shelves, Palin made quite the gaffe when pulling quotes from quoteland.com. At the end of chapter three (not surprisingly, titled “Drill, Baby, Drill”) she attributes a quote that seems to be about war to Hall of Fame UCLA basketball coach John Wooden. The quote, however, isn’t actually by the Wizard of Westwood, but by a Native American activist named John Wooden Legs.

Here’s the quote:

Our land is everything to us… I will tell you one of the things we remember on our land. We remember our grandfathers paid for it–with their lives.

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Hey, look! Some Country for Old Men wrote a screenplay about Sarah Palin!

INT. FAKE SARAH PALIN’S BEDROOM — DAY

An angry and indignant FAKE SARAH PALIN reads, with help from Trig, the headlines on the AP, New York Times and Wonkette.

FAKE SARAH PALIN

I don’t need no ghost writer, you betcha!

INT. FAKE SARAH PALIN’S OFFICE — DAY

FSP runs into the office next to her bedroom and begins jabbing at the keys of her Commodore 64. The sound of a 52k modem squawks through the room.

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