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Posts Tagged ‘assholes’

Crazy leftist commies Interpol are following in the footsteps of hippie stoner-socialist Gen. David Petraeus in warning of dire circumstances if Florida freedom-lover Pastor Terry Jones follows through with his decision to burn Korans to commemorate 9/11. From Talking Points Memo:

Interpol today warned its 188 member countries that there may be a higher threat of terrorism if a Florida fringe pastor burns Korans on Saturday as planned.

“One of INTERPOL’s primary functions is to prevent crime, and given that we have been made aware of a significant threat to public safety – an assessment which we share – it is our duty to ensure that we pass this information on to law enforcement agencies around the globe so that they can take appropriate measures,” Interpol Secretary General Ronald K. Noble said in a press release.

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In the wake of Rep. Mark Souder’s (R-Ind.) admission that while he was preaching abstinence-only education he was also boning one of his underlings and ruining his own marriage, there was quite a debate over on the SCFOM facebook page about what exactly hypocrisy is and which political party exhibits it more.

It’s the kind of debate that inevitably leads to chants of: “Everyone’s bad, so vote Republican!”

Yeah, well everyone isn’t bad. Believe it or not, we’re no fans of Rachel Maddow, but she produced a pretty compelling piece last night on the GOP class of 1994, which was led by Newt Gingrich and stormed to power on the power of the Contract with America. Although said contract included term limits, strangely 10 GOP members from that year are still serving. The number would be even higher if other class members weren’t in jail, resigned for extramarital affairs and resigned for inappropriate contact with underage pages.

While protecting the sanctity of marriage, members cheated on and divorced their wives, took kickbacks from Indian Tribes, golfed on lobbyists dimes, and still had time to tell other Americans that their way of life was the danger, that gays shouldn’t marry, that other people were morally bankrupt.

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This development is truly something. Remember that total fucking dingleberry Joe the Plumber? Now he’s entered politics. Totally, totally true.

“But Dave,” you say. “That can’t be. That means you’d have to write the phrase, ‘We swear we’re not making this up’ again, and you’ve been writing that phrase so much lately.”

Yeah. But we swear we’re not making this up. Talking Points Memo has the skinny.

Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher, who just won a seat on his Ohio county’s Republican committee, told TPMDC that he decided to run for public office to “weed out the liars, cheaters and thieves.” He has a few years, he said, before he asks God whether to run for higher office.

“I pray that he doesn’t want me to run for office,” Wurzelbacher said in an interview last night.

We pray, too! What a dickhead. Aside from Sarah Palin, we’ve never seen an average Joe such as “Don’t Call Me Sam” Joe the Plumber who craved attention so much. Especially now that he has a book.

It’s completely fascinating that a guy who, when he first in the public eye, lied about himself, his job and his decision to buy a business, but whatever. We’re sure he can spot a phony. Takes one to know one, right?

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Ol’ Walnuts just won’t rest until he’s shredded every bit of his legacy. The sad shell of a human being already decided that after being tortured mercilessly in Vietnam, he’s cool with other people being tortured, and now he’s totes okay with American citizens (only if they have funny-soundin’ Muslim names?) not being Mirandized.

When asked on the Imus program this morning if it’d be a good idea to read suspected terrorism-attempter Faisal Shahzad his rights so that, you know, things he says are admissible in court, Walnuts had this to say:

Obviously that would be a serious mistakeā€¦ [Ed note: Obviously!] at least until we find out as much information we have,” McCain said during an appearance on “Imus in the Morning” when asked whether the suspect, 30-year-old Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen from Pakistan.

“Don’t give this guy his miranda rights until we find out what it’s all about,” McCain added.

Yeah! Good idea, John McCain! Just beat the shit out of him! Vigilante justice, amirite!?!

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It never ceases to amaze us that former Bush administration officials criticize things Barack Obama does. After eight years of ridiculous wars without end, unfunded mandates, spiraling debt, signing statements undermining legislation and attacks on things as fundamental to the American way of life as following the Geneva Convention, people like Karl Rove, Dick Cheney and now Michael Brown are back. Not only are they back, but they’re taken seriously by the media.

On Monday, former FEMA head (and horse enthusiast) Michael “Brownie” Brown took to Fox News and criticized the Obama administration’s response to a leaking oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. Just to be clear, that’s the same Michael Brown whose FEMA did absolutely nothing while New Orleans washed away, while hundreds died, while thousands starved in the Super Dome and while hundreds of thousands of people were displaced.

Not only is he criticizing the administration’s response to the leaking oil rig, but he’s also suggesting that whatever lag there was was intentional because Obama doesn’t want offshore oil drilling and hates Big Oil.

The delay was this,” Brown said on Fox News today. “It’s pure politics.”

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No joke, the kid who guessed that famous Wasilla person (and former half-term governor) Sarah Palin was from “Wasilla” is now facing up to 20 years in prison for doing so. It seems Sarah Palin had a Yahoo! address, and used the security question: “What high school did you attend.” After literally zero research, David Kernell guessed “Wasilla High,” and had access to Palin’s email. Yes, the governor of Alaska’s email was that easy to hack. Is that even considered hacking — figuring out a rube’s password?

Meh, apparently it is, and now Kernell is probably headed to the slammer. Palin put the whole situation in perspective on facebook, of course.

My family and I are thankful that the jury thoroughly and carefully weighed the evidence and issued a just verdict. Besides the obvious invasion of privacy and security concerns surrounding this issue, many of us are concerned about the integrity of our country’s political elections. America’s elections depend upon fair competition. Violating the law, or simply invading someone’s privacy for political gain, has long been repugnant to Americans’ sense of fair play. As Watergate taught us, we rightfully reject illegally breaking into candidates’ private communications for political intrigue in an attempt to derail an election.

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Hey you guys! Have you been watching the Senate hearing with Goldman Sachs? If not, you missed Sen. Carl Levin’s (D-Mich.) insane bout of Tourettes in which he said “shitty deal” 9,000 times. To be fair, the Goldman guy thought Levin was leaving out all-important context that would explain why his selling “shitty deals” to everyone was actually not such a bad thing. Watch it yourself, you shitty deal fetishist.

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