Shrek-flavored dessert?

Gross.

[via Huffington Post]

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Kate Hudson has seen the future…

…and the future is Goldie Hawn.

That explains the grimace. At least give Goldie credit for not having work done.

Also: Gross.

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NJ woman trying to become Biggest Winner

“Winner” is the opposite of “loser,” right? Gainer? Who knows!

A 600-lb. woman in New Jersey has her eyes on the prize (when they’re not on literally every single deep-fried food in the tri-state area, that is); she’s trying to gain another 400 lbs., weigh a half ton, and become the world’s fattest woman. Huzzah?

Not to rain on her parade right out of the gate, but is this really news? As anyone who’s been to a Burger King in the past year can attest, reaching 1,000 lbs. seems to be the goal of most Americans.

From the NY Post:

Dream big!

A New Jersey woman, who now tips the scales at 604 pounds, said it’d be a “fantasy” to gobble her way to fame and someday weigh 1,000 pounds.

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So this is an actual headline

Thanks, Huffington Post, for reminding us that we live in a world that’s so absurd, stupid, and truly unimaginative that Tiger Woods kissing his wife is a news story.

Oh, and Elin: Leave him. No pre-nup is airtight.

Ugh.

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Uh oh, he’s deadiO

Sad news for everyone who loves absolutely terrible processed pasta and fake meat:

Donald E. Goerke, the Campbell Soup Co. executive who hit the bull’s-eye of prepared foods by overseeing the creation of the kid-friendly circular pasta called SpaghettiOs, has died. He was 83.

Gorke died Sunday of heart failure at his home in Delran, N.J., a Campbell spokeswoman confirmed.

In the mid-1960s, Goerke — pronounced GUHR-kee — was dubbed “the Daddy-O of SpaghettiOs” for leading the team charged with creating an easy-to-eat canned pasta.

Hundreds of shapes were proposed during the yearlong debate, but Goerke ended the chatter by saying, “Enough already! We’re gonna do something that’s simple,” he told the Seattle Times in 1990.

Via LA Times

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Barack Obama just wants hugs for Christmas, thanks

Item! Christmas is here! So what do you get for the man who lives in a fancy mansion and already has pretty much everything he wants or needs? Well, if that man’s Barack Obama (and if we’re to believe an incredibly stupid story from the Associated Press today), you get him HUGS!

Also, you could consider getting him unicorns and rainbows!

President Barack Obama says the only Christmas presents he needs from his daughters are hugs.

During an interview on the Tom Joyner Morning Show, Obama said he and first lady Michelle Obama decided several years ago not to buy each other presents. Obama says that doesn’t always save him money because he makes up for that on birthdays and Mother’s Day, but it does save him some wrapping time around the holidays.

Ugh. We get it. You’re the perfect dad and you have the perfect, most photogenic family ever. Enough.

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