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Posts Tagged ‘death’

In case you're wondering, yes, that's the glow of the TelePrompTer reflecting in Palin's glasses.

It’s bad enough that you’ve likely convinced a bunch of dumb, fat white guys out there who want to fuck you that you’d make a good president. But seriously, just stop being a horrible, ignorant, intolerant, pandering former half-term governor.

There are times on this site when we think we shouldn’t call Sarah Palin names because, you know, we have employers and eventually we’ll want to get new jobs somewhere else or get fired and then need to find a new job and someday a future employer will look at this website and say, “This person’s nuts. We can’t hire someone who’s NUTS.” (BTW, that’s what the Fat American people should say at the polls in 2012 when Sarah Palin runs for president on the Teabagger ticket.)

But then we see Palin’s stupid Luke Wilson jaw and her dumb, smug face and we lose our minds. She can’t DO ANYTHING BUT INCITE FEAR AND HATRED.

And you know what? She’s not entirely stupid because she’s smart enough to know that “blood libel” is a code phrase to anti-Semites across this country. She’s smart enough to know that it’s a wink to people who hate, people who eat up her garbage, people who just can’t stand that a black man is president.

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If the recent SCFOM sojourns into the bowels of Fat America haven’t convinced you, maybe some science will (unless it’s global warming science, which as we all know is total horseshit): Americans are fat. Really fat. And stupid. Really stupid.

If the Tea Party video hasn’t convinced you, maybe this HealthDay article will. Sure, it’s a couple weeks old, but we had an Old 96er to get through. Anyway, here’s some really frightening/hilarious information from the story:
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Nothing holier-than-thou here. Bleh.

[via Gizmodo]

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Anyone who expected answers to all the pseudo-scientific questions was probably missing the point of LOST the entire time. There, I said it. Now, allow me to do the one thing LOST never set out to do: explain.

Much like “Twin Peaks,” LOST mashed a lot of genres together. David Lynch seemingly set out to make a really dark, supernatural freak-fest dressed up as a soap opera, and ultimately the resolution (and entire second season) was extremely disappointing. LOST was a drama about interpersonal relationships, choices, actions, love and death (a soap opera) dressed up as a paranormal, mad-scientist weirdo-parade. The reason “Twin Peaks” failed is because it lost its heart in its second act. The superficial mask of humanity simply didn’t remain intact, and it was difficult to care about the characters anymore. LOST kept its heart in the right place. The rest doesn’t really matter.

Maybe the way you feel about the show’s resolution comes down to the kind of “man” you are (women, please excuse the reduction for the sake of reference). Are you a man of science, or a man of faith? Regardless of what LOST meant by “faith,” I don’t mean it in the Judeo-Christian sense. What I mean is: what matters to you — logistics or humanity?

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While Josh was writing that rich, white assholes are complaining that to be called a teabagger is akin to calling a black person “nigger,” I was looking for examples of white people showing their racist thoughts outwardly in the mainstream media. And guess what! It took me less than five minutes!

Over at Talking Points Memo they’ve got a story about the Republican candidate challenging Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.). We like Grayson. He’s a little nuts, but he speaks his mind and — this is the crazy part — he can usually find an objective fact to back up what he says (except that time he was on “Real Time with Bill Maher,” when he talked out his ass on some stuff).

I digress. Here’s Navy veteran and former airline pilot Dan Fanelli telling Florida that he supports racial profiling. This is not a joke.

My favorite part is when he calls himself ripped. Humor FAIL.

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Anyone who had any doubts as to how awesome Texas Gov. Rick Perry is need have doubts no more! Seems that while the secessionist-favoring, God-fearing, wife-beating (guess) governor was enjoying a jog the other morning, a wily coyote jumped out of the bushes and ran toward his dog.

Naturally, Perry pulled the laser-sighted pistol he keeps in his waistband — while jogging — and blew the coyote to smithereens. Or, in Perry’s words, turned him into mulch.

Perry said he will carry his .380 Ruger – loaded with hollow-point bullets – when jogging on trails because he is afraid of snakes. He’d also seen coyotes in the undeveloped area.

When one came out of the brush toward his daughter’s Labrador retriever, Perry charged.

“Don’t attack my dog or you might get shot … if you’re a coyote,” he said Tuesday.

Perry told The Associated Press on Tuesday he needed just one shot from the laser-sighted pistol he sometimes carries while jogging to take down a coyote that menaced his puppy during a February run near Austin.

We don’t have a problem with shooting coyotes. We do have a problem when a person’s reason for shooting a coyote doesn’t make sense. Have you ever seen a southern coyote? They’re tiny. They’re about two feet long (maybe).

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