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Posts Tagged ‘John Boehner’

Well hey, we’re not doing anything else, so let’s kick this sucker off. Y’all ready for this!?

State of the Union time, baby! Let’s get it on!

9:07 This is, of course, the most important part of the speech. Who’s on the center aisle? Who transcended party labels and waited literally HOURS to get his picture taken with the President!? Obviously, Sheila Jackson-Lee, that’s who. Christ.

9:08 Just in case you’re watching along at home, we should point out that we’re watching on MSNBC. If you’re watching on FOX News, you’re probably seeing a different feed. There are not actually horns on Obama’s head.

9:09 Obama greets the Joint Chiefs. Totally cool to ask if they’re gay now.

9:10 Wow, Pelosi’s wearing a lot of makeup tonight. And a suit! Weird!

9:12 Oh man, big hand for the new Speaker! And an even bigger hand for Gabby Giffords! Hooray for everyone! (more…)

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Rep. Joe Barton – the same guy who apologized to BP after they destroyed the Gulf of Mexico – is gunning to take over the chairmanship of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. All he has to do is convince his fellow Republicans that he’s stable enough to take the job. So how to do that? How. To. Do. That?

How about with a little Powerpoint presentation? Sure, why not? It is 1998, right?

More specifically, how about a Powerpoint presentation featuring this slide:

Barton’s nine-slide PowerPoint presentation, sent to NBC by a Democratic aide and confirmed by Barton’s office, reads like a laundry list of accomplishments and GOP priorities — that is, until the last slide.

That slide, titled “What’s in Store for the Obama Administration, states that “Speaker Boehner is our Dwight Eisenhower in the battle against the Obama Administration. Majority Leader Cantor is our Omar Bradley. I want to be George Patton – put anything in my scope and I will shoot it.”

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I’m not sure which is worse, the fact that John Boehner is a lying hypocrite or that he doesn’t give a shit that he’s a lying hypocrite.

Just take a look at this thing he said over the summer:

All of the president’s talk of post-partisanship, reaching out and finding common ground reminds us that the country deserves better than his hyper-partisan speech today.”

And then Boehner said that following on Sean Hannity’s wretched show Thursday:

This is not a time for compromise, and I can tell you that we will not compromise on our principles,” Boehner said during an appearance on conservative Sean Hannity’s radio show.

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Just read the Pledge to America (because apparently we hate ourselves) and was not surprised to see that it doesn’t contain the first new idea…unless you count occasional pandering to teabaggers a new idea. We’ll let Jon Stewart explain it for us.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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I don’t even know where to start with this one, but this is an actual quote from would-be Speaker John Boehner:

I have never been in a tanning bed or used a tanning product.”

— House Minority Leader John Boehner (R), in an interview with the Wall Street Journal, “addressing a perennial source of jokes” about his dark complexion.

John Boehner does realize we live in the age of television, right, and that we can see him? I mean, really, if we can’t trust him to tell the truth on this, what can we trust him on?

Christ, the guy is ORANGE! That picture above is not doctored (fun fact: he was an Oompa Loompa)! He is actually that color!

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So get this. As of this writing (2:01 p.m.) the Senate has not passed Wall Street reform. They’ve just voted to end debate on it (which means it’s ready for a final vote).

John Boehner – before the bill has passed – is already calling for its repeal.

Why?

Because he’s a total motherfucker.

I think it ought to be repealed,” said House Minority Leader John Boehner, in response to a question from TPMDC, at his weekly press conference Thursday.

Well good luck, fuckstick, but you have some serious problems. 1) This bill is broadly popular with Americans. 2) Some members of your own party like it. 3) Obama will sign the bill and make it law. 4) Even if you win majorities in the House and Senate this fall, Obama will veto any repeal you offer up. 5) You’ll never get 67 votes to override the veto.

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Sarcasm! Considering BP put the money in without a fight and considering the cost of cleaning up the oil spill is going to cost who knows how much, it only makes sense that a Texan would apologize to the company that caused the oil spill.

That $20 billion in an escrow account? It’s a shakedown. A SHAKEDOWN, motherfucker. And you’d be a fool and communist to think otherwise.

Look, we’re not saying that Joe Barton is crazy (he’s fucking crazy), but when John Boehner, who looks like he tans with oil, disagrees with you openly, you’re really on the shit side of correct.

Here’s Joe Barton’s fucknuts statement. Even for a guy from an oil baron state, this is bananas. Oh and there’s video, too! This is really one of those only-in-America things.

I’m speaking now totally for myself, I’m not speaking for the Republican Party, I’m not speaking for anybody in the House of Representatives, but myself. But I’m ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday.

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