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Posts Tagged ‘The South’

The American Taliban strikes again, not surprisingly in Alabama, where Gov.-elect Robert Bentley (R) told a Martin Luther King Day crowd that they were all his brothers and sisters – if and only if they are Christian and have “been saved.”

Yes, on a day dedicated to teaching justice, equality, togetherness and unity, the future governor of Alabama took it upon himself to say that although he doesn’t see color, he just can’t be friends with someone who’s different than him.

I was elected as a Republican candidate. But once I became governor … I became the governor of all the people. I intend to live up to that. I am color blind,” Bentley said in a short speech given about an hour after he took the oath of office as governor.

Then Bentley, who for years has been a deacon at First Baptist Church in Tuscaloosa, gave what sounded like an altar call.

“There may be some people here today who do not have living within them the Holy Spirit,” Bentley said. ”But if you have been adopted in God’s family like I have, and like you have if you’re a Christian and if you’re saved, and the Holy Spirit lives within you just like the Holy Spirit lives within me, then you know what that makes? It makes you and me brothers. And it makes you and me brother and sister.”

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Former lobbyist, Gov. Haley Barbour (R-Miss.) is constantly kicked around as a Republican presidential candidate. And sure, why not.

He’s white, fat, and like the most recent Republican president, can’t really figure out what the big deal was about civil rights. I mean, really, why are all those black people still so bent out of shape!? Can’t they just stop holding a grudge, already!?

Here’s Haley Barbour – the popularly-elected governor of a southern state – on the pre-civil rights era in Mississippi:

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour says he doesn’t remember the Civil Rights era being “that bad,” citing his attendance at a Martin Luther King Jr. rally nearly 50 years ago.

“I just don’t remember it as being that bad,” Barbour (R), 63, told the conservative Weekly Standard, which did a lengthy profile on the governor. “I remember Martin Luther King came to town, in ’62. He spoke out at the old fairground and it was full of people, black and white.”

And, to be fair, for a white kid in Mississippi, that time period probably wasn’t “that bad.”

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Alabama this election cycle has an endless stream of insane candidates. They’ve spent the better part of the past few weeks trying to one-up each other with their love of guns, religion and huge fences along our southern border. From governor candidate Tim James, who insist that people in his state should only speak English, to agriculture commissioner candidate Dale Freakin’ Peterson, the farmer/businessman/MARINE DURIN’ VIETNAM who’s gonna shoot your crops if they don’t grow, Alabama has just about every spot on the lunatic fringe spectrum covered.

OR DO THEY!?

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As long as Alabama continues to put forth comically-insane candidates for political office, we’re gonna keep bringing them to you. Meet Dale Peterson, Republican candidate for agriculture commissioner. We have no idea what the job entails, but his credentials include being: a “FARMER, BUSINESSMAN, COP, AND A MARINE DURIN’ VIETNAM!”

Good lord, vote for this man, if for no other reason, just to get him off the streets.

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We didn’t really bank on becoming a political blog about Alabama politics, but those yokels are making ignoring their goings-on near impossible. Surprisingly, we’re not even talking about something Tim James — the lunatic who says things like “This is Alabama. We speak English” while wandering around his slave plantation — did this time. Instead we’re talking about another intolerant, wingnut Jesusy Republican who’s running for governor.

His name is Roy Moore, and you may know him from the time he insisted that massive replicas of the Ten Commandments belonged on the front yard of the Alabama Supreme Court. With that as his credential, he’s running for the top job in the state, and he’s attacking one of his opponents for not loving Jesus enough. More specifically, Moore is running a new ad that claims his opponent, Bradley Byrne, thinks evolution is worth considering (GASP!) and believes that every word in the Bible isn’t literally true.

In other words, Byrne is never going to be governor of Alabama because he doesn’t think people can live in whales, doesn’t believe in talking snakes or omnipotent men in the clouds, and is skeptical that someone built a boat big enough to house two of every animal on Earth (even the dinosaurs). Sigh. Alabama, you’re officially worse than Texas.

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You might want to check your calendars, folks, because it’s starting to feel like 1950 around here! Virginia’s new wingnut governor, Bob McDonnell, introduced an important item yesterday declaring that April is Confederate History Month in the Commonwealth.

Honoring slave owners, secession and a war that ripped the union apart has long been a point of contention in the south because, for some strange reason black people don’t seem too keen on honoring the same people who imprisoned them for generations! WTF, black people!?

But leave it to Bob McDonnell to revive an initiative that, according to the Washington Post, had been completely dormant for eight years:

McDonnell said Tuesday that the move was designed to promote tourism in the state, which next year will mark the 150th anniversary of the start of the war. McDonnell said he did not include a reference to slavery because “there were any number of aspects to that conflict between the states. Obviously, it involved slavery. It involved other issues. But I focused on the ones I thought were most significant for Virginia.”

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Over and over we’ve been told that Republicans and Teabaggers aren’t racist. The spitting on Rep. Emanuel Cleaver? Patriotic dissent! Calling civil rights hero, Rep. John Lewis, “nigger”? Defense of liberty! Faxing pictures of nooses to Rep. Jim Clyburn, and throwing bricks through Democratic offices!? Letting our voices be heard! Democracy!! Huzzah!!!

Yeah, or it’s just racism. Check out the awesome call from C-SPAN’s “Washington Journal” this morning. Here’s the transcript from a call with a self-identified North Carolina Republican:

You have black folks calling in on the Republican line, independents. And you have so many of ’em I can’t believe this is just an accident. If you keep on with the way you’ve been programming, you should change your name from C-SPAN to black-span,” he said. “I know they have an opinion but I wish that they would be honest and call in on the right line.”

“Everyone one of ’em thinks that Obama is Jesus Christ and they don’t like when anybody criticizes him.”

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