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Posts Tagged ‘Todd Palin’

Take a look at this photo we swiped from Wonkette. The three stages of Sarah Palin are on full display! Must be difficult running around swindling money from dum-dums. Oh, wait! No it isn’t! They’re dum-dums.

Anyspray, in the spirit of (maybe) having your breasts augmented and (definitely) betting on a horse named for your dipshit husband (the horse came in third!), we offer this poll, a SCFOM first! Enjoy!

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Oh sure, making fun of half-term governor Sarah Palin is easy, but it’s also so so so fun, which is why we were pumped to hear that Tina Fey would be reprising her hillbilly grifter impersonation on Saturday Night Live. She didn’t disappoint. Behold: The Sarah Palin Network.

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Sad, tragic news from the snows of Alaska; apparently quitting is contagious and it’s infected the entire Palin clan. First Sarah Palin quit literally everything she ever tried (college, sportscasting, governoring, vacationing). And now famous snow machiner Todd Palin can’t even finish the Iron Dog.

A back injury to Scott Davis of Soldotna, the most experienced driver in the 27th Iron Dog snowmachine race, has forced him and partner Todd Palin to scratch at Puntilla Lake in the Alaska Range.

Iron Dog development director Heidi Griffin said the injury happened about 30 miles past the checkpoint at Rainy Pass on Sunday night, and the two returned to the checkpoint.

Anchorage Daily News

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We already knew that although Sarah Palin refers to Sweet Baby Trig as “her little retard,” other people aren’t ever allowed to call anything — even f-ing retarded Democrats — “retarded.” We also knew she’s a prolific quitter and employed incredibly self-serving double-standards that say Rush Limbaugh can call anything “retarded” because he’s a “satirist.

Flashback to a few months ago to when a blogger photoshopped a picture of young Trigger. Palin’s head almost exploded she was so mad. Well today, in touting her husband Todd’s “snow machine race,” Palin tweeted — SURPRISE! — a photoshopped picture of Trig.

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palin-oprahOprah’s on at 4 p.m. EST, and you betcha we’ll be live blogging that crap.

4:00 Oh holy crap, ya’ll. Ominous music! We’ll be talking Bristol, Levi, Katie Couric, and everything else. Oprah’s been waiting! “She’s finally here!”

4:01 Loving embrace! This is gonna get ugly real fast.

4:02 It’s time to talk about the Palin snub! Oh let’s break it down, everyone.  Oprah reminds us that she supported Barry, and that’s why she chose to have no candidates on. Sarah smiles, images of ponies and unicorns dancing through her head.

4:04 Tell us about your first meeting with Johnny Mac, SP. Palin says she didn’t consider herself a real viable candidate for VP. Shocking! She also says she never doubted that she’d be a good VP. After all, she had “executive experience.” Wtvr.

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not_this_shit_againAlaskan ice gnome Sarah Palin officially left the governor’s mansion yesterday (quitters never win!), but she made sure to throw out a bit more nonsense before hopping onto Todd’s snow machine and driving back to Wasilla.

A bigger media critic than Howard Kurtz (WOW!), Palin fired her parting shots at the ink-stained wretches. Here’s the scoop from John Fund at the Wall Street Journal:

Ms. Palin appeared liberated by leaving office and used blunt words to take her media critics down a peg. “You represent what could and should be a respected, honest profession that could and should be a cornerstone of our democracy,” she said. “Democracy depends on you, and that is why — that’s why our troops are willing to die for you. So how about in honor of the American soldier, you quit makin’ things up.”

We’re not even sure where to start with this stupid quote. On the one hand, we love that, even when Palin’s quoted in a newspaper, they drop the letter g from her words. On the other hand, stop using troops as a political prop, especially when the thing you’re whining about has nothing to do with the military. Oh, and on the third hand (?), really, Sarah Palin? The media were the ones makin’ things up?

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