Posts Tagged ‘USA’

Well hey, we’re not doing anything else, so let’s kick this sucker off. Y’all ready for this!?

State of the Union time, baby! Let’s get it on!

9:07 This is, of course, the most important part of the speech. Who’s on the center aisle? Who transcended party labels and waited literally HOURS to get his picture taken with the President!? Obviously, Sheila Jackson-Lee, that’s who. Christ.

9:08 Just in case you’re watching along at home, we should point out that we’re watching on MSNBC. If you’re watching on FOX News, you’re probably seeing a different feed. There are not actually horns on Obama’s head.

9:09 Obama greets the Joint Chiefs. Totally cool to ask if they’re gay now.

9:10 Wow, Pelosi’s wearing a lot of makeup tonight. And a suit! Weird!

9:12 Oh man, big hand for the new Speaker! And an even bigger hand for Gabby Giffords! Hooray for everyone! (more…)


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In case you're wondering, yes, that's the glow of the TelePrompTer reflecting in Palin's glasses.

It’s bad enough that you’ve likely convinced a bunch of dumb, fat white guys out there who want to fuck you that you’d make a good president. But seriously, just stop being a horrible, ignorant, intolerant, pandering former half-term governor.

There are times on this site when we think we shouldn’t call Sarah Palin names because, you know, we have employers and eventually we’ll want to get new jobs somewhere else or get fired and then need to find a new job and someday a future employer will look at this website and say, “This person’s nuts. We can’t hire someone who’s NUTS.” (BTW, that’s what the Fat American people should say at the polls in 2012 when Sarah Palin runs for president on the Teabagger ticket.)

But then we see Palin’s stupid Luke Wilson jaw and her dumb, smug face and we lose our minds. She can’t DO ANYTHING BUT INCITE FEAR AND HATRED.

And you know what? She’s not entirely stupid because she’s smart enough to know that “blood libel” is a code phrase to anti-Semites across this country. She’s smart enough to know that it’s a wink to people who hate, people who eat up her garbage, people who just can’t stand that a black man is president.


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According to a new study conducted by the University of Maryland, “Fox News viewers were ‘significantly’ more likely than non-viewers to erroneously believe false information about the economy, taxes, climate change, bailouts and whether President Obama was born in the United States.”

Subhead: duh.

Yes, apparently political propaganda thinly disguised as news and shamelessly used to fearmonger does not make for the most informed viewers. Take it away science:

Those who watched Fox News almost daily were significantly more likely than those who never watched it to believe that most economists estimate the stimulus caused job losses (12 points more likely), most economists have estimated the health care law will worsen the deficit (31 points), the economy is getting worse (26 points), most scientists do not agree that climate change is occurring (30 points), the stimulus legislation did not include any tax cuts (14 points), their own income taxes have gone up (14 points), the auto bailout only occurred under Obama (13 points), when TARP came up for a vote most Republicans opposed it (12 points) and that it is not clear that Obama was born in the United States (31 points). The effect was also not simply a function of partisan bias, as people who voted Democratic and watched Fox News were also more likely to have such misinformation than those who did not watch it — though by a lesser margin than those who voted Republican.


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More dispatches from crazytown asĀ  we turn to the good people (?) at New Left Media and their latest video that lets the teabaggers make themselves look stupid. Anyone who thinks “Idiocracy” is fiction should think again. And for that matter, why isn’t “Idiocracy” a better movie?

Anyway, watch these people — mostly fat people — restore freedom all over Washington, D.C. The guy playing the piccolo at the beginning gets points for being awesome (no irony).

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We promised there would be pictures, and you bet we followed through. Enjoy some choice shots from Glenn Beck’s dystopian paradise.

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I know, right! Like we really have to remind Americans to swing by Dunkin’ Donuts or Krispy Kreme!

But hey, as long as you’re already indulging in fried dough and deliciously-sweet whipped lard, you might as well do it for free! Today is National Doughnut Day! Get your fat butt to the doughnut shop; supplies can’t possibly last in this economy.

The Store: Dunkin Donuts
The Deal: Free doughnut of your choice with any beverage purchase.
Where: Nationwide, but only at participating locations in the U.S. Visit the store finder for locations.
Details: More info on Facebook.

The Store: Krispy Kreme
The Deal: Free doughnut of your choice, no purchase necessary.
Where: US and Canada, but check out this pdf for participating locations.
Details: More info on krispykreme.com.


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As long as Alabama continues to put forth comically-insane candidates for political office, we’re gonna keep bringing them to you. Meet Dale Peterson, Republican candidate for agriculture commissioner. We have no idea what the job entails, but his credentials include being: a “FARMER, BUSINESSMAN, COP, AND A MARINE DURIN’ VIETNAM!”

Good lord, vote for this man, if for no other reason, just to get him off the streets.

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