Shitty looking “Atlas Shrugged” coming soon!

Wow! Can you believe it? Someone made a movie of “Atlas Shrugged!” Holy shit!

I know what you’re thinking: Wouldn’t a movie that was just the phrase, “Oh, grow the fuck up,” be really boring to watch for two hours? Well, guess what? They shot some pictures for this piece of shit and actually strung them together.

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Alabama Gov. will be your friend only if you’re Christian

The American Taliban strikes again, not surprisingly in Alabama, where Gov.-elect Robert Bentley (R) told a Martin Luther King Day crowd that they were all his brothers and sisters – if and only if they are Christian and have “been saved.”

Yes, on a day dedicated to teaching justice, equality, togetherness and unity, the future governor of Alabama took it upon himself to say that although he doesn’t see color, he just can’t be friends with someone who’s different than him.

I was elected as a Republican candidate. But once I became governor … I became the governor of all the people. I intend to live up to that. I am color blind,” Bentley said in a short speech given about an hour after he took the oath of office as governor.

Then Bentley, who for years has been a deacon at First Baptist Church in Tuscaloosa, gave what sounded like an altar call.

“There may be some people here today who do not have living within them the Holy Spirit,” Bentley said. ”But if you have been adopted in God’s family like I have, and like you have if you’re a Christian and if you’re saved, and the Holy Spirit lives within you just like the Holy Spirit lives within me, then you know what that makes? It makes you and me brothers. And it makes you and me brother and sister.”

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Sarah Palin, please stop murdering English

In case you're wondering, yes, that's the glow of the TelePrompTer reflecting in Palin's glasses.

It’s bad enough that you’ve likely convinced a bunch of dumb, fat white guys out there who want to fuck you that you’d make a good president. But seriously, just stop being a horrible, ignorant, intolerant, pandering former half-term governor.

There are times on this site when we think we shouldn’t call Sarah Palin names because, you know, we have employers and eventually we’ll want to get new jobs somewhere else or get fired and then need to find a new job and someday a future employer will look at this website and say, “This person’s nuts. We can’t hire someone who’s NUTS.” (BTW, that’s what the Fat American people should say at the polls in 2012 when Sarah Palin runs for president on the Teabagger ticket.)

But then we see Palin’s stupid Luke Wilson jaw and her dumb, smug face and we lose our minds. She can’t DO ANYTHING BUT INCITE FEAR AND HATRED.

And you know what? She’s not entirely stupid because she’s smart enough to know that “blood libel” is a code phrase to anti-Semites across this country. She’s smart enough to know that it’s a wink to people who hate, people who eat up her garbage, people who just can’t stand that a black man is president.

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Louisiana senator blames illegal immigrants for loss of state’s House seat

Are illegal immigrants the new Hitler? Perhaps! Are they the go-to bogeyman for whatever ails us? Probably!

Issue ONE: Apparently the Census data was released today, and crummy crazy-person states are poised to pick up like a million seats in Congress because everyone is leaving New York and moving to Utah. (What?) Maybe it’s for the warm weather or open spaces. Maybe it’s to get away from traffic or to find cheaper housing.

WRONG!

According to disgraced diaper-wearing, prostitute-frequenting Sen. David Vitter (R-La.), his state is poised to lose one of its House seats because of, you guessed it, illegal immigrants! SERIOUSLY!

Louisiana Sen. David Vitter (R) blamed illegal immigrants for his state’s having lost a congressional seat in the Census Bureau’s reapportionment.

Vitter said that Louisiana had lost a seat because other states were welcoming of illegal immigrants, who were in turn counted in population totals used to determine the number of seats in Congress each state is allowed in the next 10 years.

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Old white man doesn’t recall segregation-era South as being “that bad”

Former lobbyist, Gov. Haley Barbour (R-Miss.) is constantly kicked around as a Republican presidential candidate. And sure, why not.

He’s white, fat, and like the most recent Republican president, can’t really figure out what the big deal was about civil rights. I mean, really, why are all those black people still so bent out of shape!? Can’t they just stop holding a grudge, already!?

Here’s Haley Barbour – the popularly-elected governor of a southern state – on the pre-civil rights era in Mississippi:

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour says he doesn’t remember the Civil Rights era being “that bad,” citing his attendance at a Martin Luther King Jr. rally nearly 50 years ago.

“I just don’t remember it as being that bad,” Barbour (R), 63, told the conservative Weekly Standard, which did a lengthy profile on the governor. “I remember Martin Luther King came to town, in ’62. He spoke out at the old fairground and it was full of people, black and white.”

And, to be fair, for a white kid in Mississippi, that time period probably wasn’t “that bad.”

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Science: FOX News viewers are often misinformed

According to a new study conducted by the University of Maryland, “Fox News viewers were ‘significantly’ more likely than non-viewers to erroneously believe false information about the economy, taxes, climate change, bailouts and whether President Obama was born in the United States.”

Subhead: duh.

Yes, apparently political propaganda thinly disguised as news and shamelessly used to fearmonger does not make for the most informed viewers. Take it away science:

Those who watched Fox News almost daily were significantly more likely than those who never watched it to believe that most economists estimate the stimulus caused job losses (12 points more likely), most economists have estimated the health care law will worsen the deficit (31 points), the economy is getting worse (26 points), most scientists do not agree that climate change is occurring (30 points), the stimulus legislation did not include any tax cuts (14 points), their own income taxes have gone up (14 points), the auto bailout only occurred under Obama (13 points), when TARP came up for a vote most Republicans opposed it (12 points) and that it is not clear that Obama was born in the United States (31 points). The effect was also not simply a function of partisan bias, as people who voted Democratic and watched Fox News were also more likely to have such misinformation than those who did not watch it — though by a lesser margin than those who voted Republican.

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