Oh FINE! We’ll live blog this shit

Well hey, we’re not doing anything else, so let’s kick this sucker off. Y’all ready for this!?

State of the Union time, baby! Let’s get it on!

9:07 This is, of course, the most important part of the speech. Who’s on the center aisle? Who transcended party labels and waited literally HOURS to get his picture taken with the President!? Obviously, Sheila Jackson-Lee, that’s who. Christ.

9:08 Just in case you’re watching along at home, we should point out that we’re watching on MSNBC. If you’re watching on FOX News, you’re probably seeing a different feed. There are not actually horns on Obama’s head.

9:09 Obama greets the Joint Chiefs. Totally cool to ask if they’re gay now.

9:10 Wow, Pelosi’s wearing a lot of makeup tonight. And a suit! Weird!

9:12 Oh man, big hand for the new Speaker! And an even bigger hand for Gabby Giffords! Hooray for everyone!

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Another GOPer thinks Obama’s not American

Yeah. Yeah. Despite literally thousands of news stories available to the public in which President Obama’s birth certificate is shown prominently, there’s a Congressman today who said, more or less, that Obama’s a dirty illegal and he’s trying to fuck your daughter in the ass or something.

Maybe we should take this stuff more seriously. By “this stuff,” we mean the absolute, utter and total insane nonsense spouted by birthers and their Congressional ilk. Maybe we should be more outraged.

Today – Friday – we’re just totally shocked into numbness that this silliness is still going on.

What do we mean? Take a look at this story from Politico.

Rep. Paul Broun (R-Ga.) said Thursday that he does not know if President Barack Obama is either a citizen or a Christian.

Broun made the claim during an interview with Sirius XM host Pete Dominick, which was first flagged by the liberal blog Think Progress.

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We traced the phone call…

And it’s coming from inside the House! The House of Representatives, that is.

Yeah yeah yeah, at this point no one should be surprised that a Republican member of Congress is a big racist. From leading the birther movement to fostering the teabagger nonsense, these folks rarely miss an opportunity to whip their white troglodyte constituents into an anti-black or anti-Jew or anti-intelligence fervor.

Proving that their short-sighted simplistic over-the-top hate is cyclical, their newest target is Muslims.

Note, even thought this story is from Politico (which is totally ghey), it’s real. Check it!

Four Republican lawmakers have accused the most prominent Islamic advocacy group in Washington of trying to plant “spies” as interns on Capitol Hill.

The claim was quickly denounced as “racist” and “insidious” by the Council on American Islamic Relations, and the effort appears to have little support from GOP leaders.

In an unusual announcement this morning, four conservative Republicans — Reps. John Shadegg (Ariz.), Paul Broun (Ga.), Trent Franks (Ariz.) and Sue Myrick (N.C.) — formally asked the House Sergeant at Arms to launch an investigation of the Center for American-Islamic Relations. They accused CAIR, a non profit group, of trying to infiltrate Capitol Hill with interns and staffers.

Granted this appears to be an effort of just a few “rogue” GOP members, it’s still retarded. Take for example, the evidence these jokers cite to support their claim of infiltration:

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Like Reading Rainbow but stupid

So while you were all chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool this weekend, your Congress was hard at work, you know, doing all those really important things they do, like, introducing resolutions to declare 2010 “The National Year of the Bible.”

Apparently Rep. Paul Broun of Georgia — the guy who introduced this, the most important bill ever — was shocked to learn that 30 million Americans are pretty much illiterate, and he figured ‘hey, if I assign them one book a year, that’ll solve the problem.’ So being the modern-day LaVar Burton/Ptolemy that he is, Mr. Broun did a quick scan of his bookshelf.

The entire Twilight series? No. That Robert Pattinson is just too damn sexy, and would distract everyone from reading.

Harry Potter? No, that’s been done to death.

My Pet Goat? Too confusing.

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